This summer on an episode of The View there was a extremely heated discussion about the word NIGGA.  Of course it was referred to as "The N Word" for a majority of the discussion (Whoopi did use the full word a few times).  I didn't write about this after the initial airing of the show because I couldn't get my thoughts together and I wanted to write clearly.  The jist of the discussion was why is it okay for Black people to say Nigga amongst themselves but not other races?  Sheri and Whoopi did a good job answering it but I wanted to elaborate.  Two white men are talking to each other and they're calling each other Redneck, more power to them, but I'm not going to call either of them a Redneck.  Or two gay men calling each other Fag, why is it ok for them to say it amongst themselves?  Because if the word is coming from someone within the group that it is normally used to insult it some of the initial shock,insult,power is taken off the word, some NOT all.  What amazed me about this discussion was when Elizabeth said she didn't want to say it and Whoopi replied "them why are we talking about it?" she read my mind.  I have no desire to say things that my Italian, Polish, Asian or Indian friends say amongst themselves.  I was discussing this with my roommate last night, who is Polish, and I told him I didn't know a Polish insult until I was 25.  I'd heard one of my Italian friends parents and friends saying things as a teenager and I asked her what where they saying and her response was "I'll tell you later, just don't repeat it" we never discussed it and I never repeated what I heard.  When Jeff and I were discussing this last night he said he agreed with 98% of what Whoopi and Sheri said but he wondered if Elizabeth had a valid point about the double standard and her "confusion" about white people using the word and I told him No she didn't.  But I did realized something during the course of our conversation, a white person will NEVER be called a NIGGER (maybe a Nigga, thats another entry) and will never understand the way the it feels to a Black person.  As a Black person I know what it feels like, I know certain words are off limits and I have no problem with that.  Jeff asked another question, "why is it ok for SOME white people to say it?", I love this question because the answer always gets the same reaction, dead silence.  I have white friends who say it and I think nothing about it, why, they have lived amongst, dated, married and had children with Black people, so it's obvious they don't think that Black people are inferior and they have a deeper (not complete) understanding about a Black persons experience.  If you have never dated a Black person you have never experienced what I call "racism by proxy".  I had a white friend (who only dates black people) recently tell me  "I will never know what it's like to be Black, but I know that you are treated differently."  Thats the key, you dont have to understand it but acknowledging that something exist that you will never experience and respecting it is what bridges the gap.  I can never have a baby, but I know it hurts and I respect every woman who goes through it. 

I know that there are people who will disagree with me and I'm sure they have strong points.  The one thing we can agree on, the word is not going away.  The word being NIGGA, not the N word, you never hear Black people referring to it as the N word.