I know it was a loss of confidence because of the "Jason Factor". Most of you know who Jason is, he's like my 2nd younger brother. In a lot of ways were a lot alike, love of clothes, love to marinate in cologne, love to eat out and both very social, but there is one major difference and you can see it if you look at his pictures on my phoo site: photos.coleyco.net or you can check him out on his page, go to the links section in the upper right hand corner and click on Skyy. Without a doubt Jason is a good looking guy and has a banging body but I've never felt overshadowed, jealous or defeated by his looks. Now I discovered years ago it's a no no to walk in a bar or club with him and here's why, imagine walking in with Madonna or Janet Jackson, fot the rest of the night you're the person who came in with them so, I've easily cured that, he goes in before or after me, that way I get my own spotlight and not "who's that" "how can I holla at yo boy" etc, but since March I haven't cared. Don't get me wrong I still look cute and smell like a walking bottle of sex but something was missing, my confidence. I learned years ago you don't have to be a cover model to steal the spotlight and when I walk into a room I know all 6'4 of me is on display and I know how to display it. But now I realize since March I've felt, invisible, which is the only way I can think of to describe how I've felt. Jason even noticed I wasn't myself but said he couldn't put his finger on it, but once the grades came out and I started sounding and acting like my old and we talked he said it made sense. The good news, I'm back to the old me, I feel like the ole me, I've even got my strut back (or as my friend Robyn used to say "you Saunter when you walk") and I'm not afraid to use it. But now what do I do? How do I make things happen? I'm in the land of opportunity and not sure which opportunity to go for? I know I'll make it work, figure something out (I always do) but I'm still a little nervous. Honestly something keeps coming to mind "Becareful what you wish for cause you just might get it". But hey the best part is this cat landed on his feet, licked himself clean and is back on the prowl. And Jason, back to the old routine, love you Lambchop but Whitney and Mariah make seperate entrances!!!
Evolving In 2008